The CRSH blog was established to serve as a knowledge source for relationship and sexual health. Through Dr. Kort, this blog explores diverse sex topics ranging from sex addiction to gender identity to relationship building strategies.
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I see many clients who struggle with their identity; who fear acceptance; who are full of self-criticism and negativity.
"I'm different; I don't fit in."
"I'm not good enough to be accepted by those I admire."
"If people see the real me, they will not accept me."
For some, the tendency toward negative thinking is related to core beliefs. LGBT individuals may feel inadequate or unlovable, and, as a result, negative feelings are commonplace and expected. Core beliefs, first developed in childhood, are deeply ingrained and are repeatedly reinforced through our old coping patterns.
Before any change can happen, it is important to establish a safe space for clients to explore their feelings so they can begin to feel comfortable articulating them.
Watching the new documentary, "Leaving Neverland," about Wade Robson and James Safechuck revealing their childhood sexual abuse (CSA) at the hands of pop singer Michael Jackson is disturbing and sad. The men in the documentary are brave.
One in six boys are sexually abused.
Males can be—and are—sexually used or abused, and it has nothing to do with how masculine they are. If a boy liked the attention he was getting, or became sexually aroused during the abuse, or even sometimes wanted the attention or sexual contact, this does not mean he wanted or liked being manipulated or abused, or that any part of what happened, in any way, was his responsibility or fault.
And yet men worry they will be blamed—and sometimes are—for the CSA that happened to them.
It's the rare couple who claims they don't have a few bumps or bruises from time to time in their relationship. Understanding and anticipating that life will throw a few curve balls along the way is essential if couples want to sustain a strong, loving relationship for the long-term.
Here is the scenario: a couple faces a conflict. How do they overcome it? Do they fight fair? Do they compromise? Do they walk away and the problem never gets resolved?
In a strong, solid relationship, couples will have learned how to navigate through their conflicts without doing harm, and, ultimately, improving their relationship.
Couples need two conversations - the relationship conversation and the sexual conversation. If sexual health improves in a relationship, this doesn't mean the relationship's health improves. Couples need to discuss these topics in tandem. Learn more about Dr. Joe Kort's work as a sex therapist and his practice, The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in this recent interview.
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