The CRSH blog was established to serve as a knowledge source for relationship and sexual health. Through Dr. Kort, this blog explores diverse sex topics ranging from sex addiction to gender identity to relationship building strategies.
Take a moment to save this web page to your favorites today.
Holding down a full-time job, and being a wife and mother can be overwhelming and highly desexualizing. When women come into my office and tell me they lost their sex drive, it doesn't take long to find the reason why. After working all day, only to come home to their second job of caring for their family, they find it nearly impossible to shift to romantic mode when the evening winds down. Their mind is racing 100 miles an hour with a "to do" list of the next day, and on top of that, they no longer feel desirable.
Two issues are here: a noisy mind and low self-image.
If a woman is upset or tired, if she is feeling overworked and under appreciated, she is not going to perform in bed. In order to get in bed, you have to get out of your head.
In the many years I have worked as a therapist, the three most common reasons for relationship conflicts are: 1. infidelity, 2. finances, and 3. kids
1. Infidelity - Finding out your partner has been unfaithful can throw your relationship into crisis mode and possibly even destroy it. Today, with social media, partners can have a relationship that is not physical, but is still considered cheating. Sexting and suggestive conversations are two ways of cheating that are easy and very tempting. When the trust in a relationship is lost, it is hard to regain it.
In working with couples on improving their relationship, I often find a lot of power dynamics going on - one person is in control and the other is submissive. It is critical to the success of the relationship that equalization occur. The power struggle must disappear. Couples must focus on overcoming their obstacles, not trying to win. They must find a way to let go, to forgive and move forward so they can build the relationship they want.
It is estimated that 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before age 18. Typically, this occurs within a long-term, on-going relationship, that escalates over time, usually lasting about 4 years. As adults, these men may experience severe depression and other symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress (PTSD), and have self-destructive behaviors, including out-of-control behaviors with sex or alcohol and other drug use. Often, these men choose not to seek help.
We’re always hearing we could have a better sex life. But, how often do we actually go ‘under the covers’ to better understand our desires and most embarrassing questions? How do you decide who you’re going to trust with some of your most intimate experiences? Most people do their best to try to fix issues in a relationship when it’s not going well. But sometimes, seeking professional help in this area can be fraught with risk as some therapists aren’t able to deal with these intimate issues effectively.
There needs to be two separate, parallel conversations, when couples come to sex therapy. One, about the emotional health within the relationship, and the other, about sexual health. Many people think that if the relationship gets better, then the sex will too, or vice versa. Both are a myth.
@drjoekort RT @JustinLehmiller: Why do those living in #pain seek out more pain? Many chronic pain sufferers are turning to #kink and #BDSM for a rang…
@drjoekort “When you’re born in the wrong gender, your gender changes, not necessarily your sexuality,” trans activist, Jacob… https://t.co/jg3v9zlYOB
@drjoekort RT @DrDavidLey: Turns out kinky people aren’t actually disturbed - just a reminder that they were all categorically labeled as sex addicts…
@drjoekort @Timmy________ @PsyPost Thank you very much. There’s an article similar to this one by David Ley and Psychology Today you could find.
@drjoekort @Timmy________ @PsyPost I have heard variations of this. I don’t know how exactly true it is but I’ve heard of it.