The CRSH blog was established to serve as a knowledge source for relationship and sexual health. Through Dr. Kort, this blog explores diverse sex topics ranging from sex addiction to gender identity to relationship building strategies.
Take a moment to save this web page to your favorites today.
Your friend calls you expectedly. Her car has broken down and she hopes you can drive her to and from work until her vehicle is repaired. You are happy to help.
Your sister loses her job and you offer to help pay some of her bills until she gets back on her feet financially.
A co-worker is struggling to learn a particularly challenging task and you finish it up for her so she can make her deadline.
Providing temporary help to someone in need demonstrates your kindness and thoughtfulness, and it probably makes you feel pretty good inside, too.
Unfortunately, sometimes our good deeds backfire on us when a temporary situation turns into habitual behavior with no end in sight. Our willingness to come to the aid of someone in need officially crosses the line from helping to enabling. We continue to do things for others when they can and should be doing these things themselves.
Infidelity can be traumatic. Recovering a relationship from an instance of cheating may seem like an uphill battle. Often times the natural inclination is to assail the 'cheater' with harsh words and to comfort the 'victim' with compassion. But if the couple truly wishes to heal the pain and mend their relationship then finding common ground is paramount.
What is cheating? This is a complex question, and the answer depends on the type of relationship and the individuals involved. In order to properly define cheating a couple must decide what monogamy means to them.
Just wave the magic wand and the sexual yearnings for your partner will return.
If only it were that easy.
But, the good news is, your desires most likely are not gone forever; they just need a little rediscovery.
When I work with couples who want to rekindle what they used to have in the bedroom, I first determine if any medical issues are at play. When I rule these out, I take a deeper look into their life: I learn about communication patterns and how the couple interact in their every day life. Do they have the emotional ability to talk about what is going on in their life outside the bedroom? I observe how they relate to each other, how they describe their partner, and if they understand each other's needs. Often, I find a disconnect.
I am often asked why it is so important to use other words like queer, pansexual or non-binary and not “stick with the basics” like gay or lesbian.
My response is "because words matter!"
Just like our struggle to achieve marriage equality, the word “marriage” matters as it implies and defines the institution of marriage; not separate but equal like “union.” Therefore, I patiently explain that words like queer, non-binary and gender-queer also matter. When I am introducing myself at a professional presentation, I say I am a “white, spiritual, cis-gender, gay male." These words (or some would call labels) matter as they define further who I am as a person. To be inclusive is to be accepting and affirming of everything about someone as a person.
@drjoekort Modern Sex Therapy Institutes' Wknd Wkshp Detroit 1/18-1/20, Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D. & Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW. Attend… https://t.co/nvry0b7bYP
@drjoekort @DrDavidLey Apple does it. I’ve tried. 😳
@drjoekort @lippaofficial I see it Thursday night I can't wait.
@drjoekort How Do I Know if My Child is Depressed? What are the signs? What should I do? https://t.co/oPuvz95rfP
@drjoekort There is a pill you can take once infected with HIV and a pill to prevent infection from HIV called PreP, Let’s not… https://t.co/nZr4aplcHB