Marriage Counseling:
4 Keys to Finding the Best Marriage Counselor for You

Some relationship counselors present themselves as being equally competent in all relationship areas: male/male, female/female and male/female. Do a little investigating before jumping to the conclusion that the marriage counselor you are considering is a heterosexual marriage specialist.

Marriage Counseling Key #1: Male/Female Couples

Have Their Own Dynamics

Some relationship counselors present themselves as being equally competent in all relationship areas: male/male, female/female and male/female. Do a little investigating before jumping to the conclusion that the marriage counselor you are considering is a heterosexual marriage specialist. Married men and women have characteristics that can be very different from same sex relationships. If the therapist’s practice seems to be geared toward gay couples, be especially careful that he or she is not limited to this perspective.

Marriage Counseling Key #2: Focus on what is Right for You, not the Therapist

Vastly different marriages work for different people. For example, some couples are suited to sharing and communicating a lot together and some get along just fine with very little verbal sharing. A marriage counselor who steers you toward their own idea of the ideal or healthy marriage is one to avoid. During marriage counseling, you should not focus on the therapist’s idea of a good marriage; rather, they should help you focus on yours.

Marriage Counseling Key #3: Find out Where they’re Coming From

 Don’t be shy about asking about the therapist’s training and perspective. If you have never heard of it, ask for an explanation. Does it make sense to you? Does it sound like a good fit?  Remember, when it comes to your marriage, you are the expert, not the therapist. Their style of communicating and even their vocabulary should make sense and feel right to you.

Marriage Counseling Key #4: Look for Fairness and Balance

In your first meeting, did you get the impression the marriage therapist was even tempered and not biased toward one person? Does your partner feel the same way?  Chances are strong that the therapeutic process will not take hold if one of you feels that the therapist is taking sides. Instead of an advocate for one side, the counselor should feel like a caring and neutral mediator.